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Do You Sometimes Eat Because You’re Afraid You’ll “Miss Out” on Something Wonderful Otherwise?

Have you ever finished a huge meal, Thanksgiving dinner for instance, and being so stuffed you couldn’t possibly eat another bite, when suddenly someone showed up with another dessert? Did you suddenly find just a bit of space to eat a little more? That’s eating out of fear; the fear of missing out, the fear of not being part of the group (everyone else is having some and you want your share too) and it has nothing to do with hunger.

This same thing can happen with any feeling — you may feel exhausted. You had a rough day at work, a traffic jam on the way home, a flat tire, and now you have a headache. You are bone tired and want to do nothing but sleep, when suddenly the phone rings. It’s a call saying, “You’ve just won a million dollars! Can you come right down to pick it up?,” and you’re rushing out the door with your coat half fastened, you’re so excited you can hardly wait.

What happened to your headache? Probably it’s gone or is now just a faint memory. What happened to your exhaustion? It’s long gone too, replaced by a new surge of energy because your beliefs about your energy level just changed. All belief shifts happen that quickly.

The first belief shift you must make is in allowing something as simple as the EFT methods to work for you. They are helpful beyond belief, and that is why you must temporarily suspend your judgments and give it a try. Most people find they are reluctant to use these methods once they learn them simply because they don’t really want to end their overeating habits at all. If you find that is true for you, then use EFT to dissolve those issues too, and eventually you’ll be a person who can eat what they want, and maintain a healthy body weight.

We all want better health, but sometimes our inner desires are stronger than our outer. You don’t have to know why you do the things you do to solve them. Do a round of EFT first, then go ahead and eat whatever you want. You may just find you don’t want it with the same intensity as before.

I promise if you just give it a try, you’ll experience an unexpected result. For example, you’ll start to get up to move toward the kitchen, even when you’re still full from dinner because you’ve done it a thousand times before. This time though, you’ll stop and remember that first you want to do a round of EFT. Then just sit down, take a few minutes to get control of your breathing, relax, do a quick round of EFT, and see what happens.

EFT Ideas for Breaking the Fear of Missing Out Eating Habit

“Even though I want to eat ______, even though I’m not really hungry, it’s okay and I’m okay with myself.”

“Even though I can’t break this overeating habit, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”

“Even though I can’t feel satisfied unless I’m stuffed, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though I can’t wait to eat the ice cream (or whatever is your food choice), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though I’m afraid if I don’t have some, I’ll never get any, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Don’t be afraid to say what you want. This is not an affirmation, and you won’t be installing the desire. If you don’t believe me, try it and see. I will say things like, “Even though I can’t wait to eat the whipped cream and I know it’s going to be delicious and I love it more than anything because it’s just the best thing in the world. Oh, how I love whipped cream.” (I might not even do the I’m okay part).

Then, recheck your SUD level (the intensity level – you did not it first, right? If not, that’s okay, but now note how much you want that treat food right now.) Is the intensity a bit less? If it’s still high, do another quick round. Go ahead. It takes less than 30 seconds. You can spare 30 seconds, can’t you?

Do you Believe You Can End Faulty Eating Habits?

Think about your belief in your ability to break this simple habit. The habit of eating when you’re not hungry. The habit of needing to feel stuffed to be satisfied. You can break the pattern, even if you don’t believe you can. It happens when you first simply stop eating a little sooner. You may still have over eaten, but your level of stuffed can be lessened, and you’ll begin to learn to know when you’ve had enough, too much, or way too much. Start by learning to leave one bite on your plate. (Even the tiniest bit counts, whatever it takes to leave a bit, it’s a start).

I know, that idea may seem radical, but it’s a great way to discover how you’ve eaten everything on your plate because it’s a habit to do so. Even if you only leave one pea, leave something on your plate. Secondly, just because there is more on the serving plate, don’t think you need to take more food. Wait a few minutes. Settle in. Get comfortable with the feeling of satisfaction. Get in touch with your hunger levels.

I remember learning to recognize my hunger levels and the shock (and dismay) when I’d realize I’d had enough but half my food was still on my plate. I learned to ask for a doggy bag, take it home and eat in the next day. I learned to sometimes fix myself less food. I learned half a sandwich is sometimes enough. I learned a piece of fruit can satisfy my wildest hunger, for now, while I wait for dinner to cook. I learned, and so will you, when you just start to pay attention.

You can still have it all, but maybe you’ll eat half now and half later.

Small shifts in your beliefs about what you can accomplish may take a bit of time, but when you do make the shift it will seem sudden and it will be permanent. Ask anyone who’s lost a lot of weight and kept it off, and they’ll tell you, “I don’t know, something just suddenly clicked.” You can experience this click too.

Start Noticing How Often You Eat Without Hunger

Start today by noticing how much food you’re being offered when you aren’t hungry. Can you take some and save it for later? Just because it’s the holiday season, it’s not an excuse to eat everything in sight because you’ll be starting to lose the weight in January. Why put it off until then?

Get more in tune with what you do day-to-day and you can let go of the fear of either suffering through another diet or gaining more weight, or losing it and then regaining it. You don’t have to choose between stuffing or starving. You can learn to eat good food, enjoy it more, and melt into the shape you truly are meant to be.

~~ Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of the free e-book: Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com

Get The Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.

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When you truly consider the weight-loss process, the battle waged is mostly in your mind. "Should I eat the corn muffin with butter or would it be better for me to have margarine or better yet, have jelly? What am I doing eating this muffin anyway? It’s so caloric and filled with saturated fat. I’m such a pig. I have absolutely zero willpower." It’s no wonder you’ll eat that muffin with the butter and slather jelly on top to quiet that negative self-talk.

What you need more than a diet is a way to shift those negative self-defeating thoughts to more adaptive, positive self-statements. As with most things worth doing, this requires a bit of practice. First, become aware when you’re using a negative statement, then determine what about that thought is faulty and finally, replace it with a self-defense response or coping thought. In the corn muffin example, instead of listening to "I’m such a pig" which clearly mislabels who you are, respond with "Pigs are animals and I am human. I don’t have to be perfect."

Many people cannot change their eating habits until they change their thoughts about food, eating and drinking. By shedding "distorted" thoughts and replacing them with productive ones, eating habits can be changed. It is possible to rid yourself from many self-critical thoughts, but like any ingrained habit, it takes vigor and vigilance to change. Here are some other thinking distortions to challenge:

Shoulds. Should statements are more about other people’s values, not ones chosen by the person who wants to lose weight. Additionally, should statements reflect an attempt by the dieter to motivate herself without really believing in the value. Better to determine what works for you. "I will eat up to two Hershey kisses daily and thoroughly enjoy them."

All-or-Nothing. This kind of reasoning is the foundation for perfectionism. An all-or-nothing individual views the world as black or white. Since there is no allowance for gray areas, the behavior is either perfect or a failure. "I’ve ruined my diet by eating all that pizza. I can’t stay on a diet and I’ll just always be fat." Maybe the problem does not arise from the behavior? maybe the problem is with the diet that does not allow for pizza. "I do not want to give pizza up for the rest of my life, so what I need is a way to include pizza in my diet without feeling like a failure. Let me try having a salad (dressing on the side) before the pizza to take the edge off my hunger."

Good Foods/ Bad Foods. If the truth be told, foods do not misbehave. Foods are not good or bad. While it is true that some foods have more nutrients or are more fiber-dense than others, all foods can be enjoyed. How we think about food colors what we eat and how much we eat. If a food is labeled as bad (such as fries), then for many individuals that food is taboo. When one eventually succumbs to eating the forbidden, French fries, bingeing may result. Rather than continue with dichotomous thinking of good food/bad food, shift to allow space for all foods you like without judgement. Instead of "I ate those fries which are so bad for me" to "I really enjoyed that small portion of fries. They really satisfied me."

Body Distortions. Rather than dwelling on how fat or thin you think your body is, it is extremely helpful to view your body in terms of what it can do for you. For example, when you look in the mirror, instead of zooming in on your stomach which "looks five months pregnant, although your last baby was nine years ago" tell yourself "my body has given life" or "my body enables me to go where I want to and allows me to have fun."

The conversations that are going on inside your head cannot be stopped. However, what you can do is to be aware of negative self-talk and understand that it has little to do with actual reality. When you believe this, you can respond to the critical voice with a more objective, coping thought. Although negative thoughts may not be stopped entirely, they can be quieted by listening to your compassionate, caring voice. In much the same way you would sympathize and listen to a close friend, listen to yourself. Be your own best friend and chances are you’ll have greater weight loss success.

Helene Haber

Holistic Nutrition Coach

Helene Haber, HHC is a board certified health counselor. She designs personalized wellness solutions for women of all ages looking to enhance their lives, get their bodies back in shape and their health back on track. Email: [email protected].

integrativenutrition.com/graduates/HHaber.aspx

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